On Dancing When Everyone's Watching

I took this picture as I was walking to work last weekend in Penang, along the northeast coast. The sun was high and the sea breeze teased my hair. My music player chose Lionel Richie's 'All Night Long'. I started dancing like noone was watching. When people started watching, I realized it wasn't a big deal, and carried on dancing.
I love how one of my favourite singers, Jason Mraz, tells his fans at concerts to "Never let your mind stop you from having a good time."
May we all Party, Karamu, Fiesta, Forever.

On Staying Young, Part 2

I was catching up with a friend who's visiting from London. This year, he divorced his partner of 8 years and just resigned from his corporate job to fully pursue his passion for acting. He is anxious about starting life again at 39. But a friend suggested that he try turning back the clock ten years. Now as a fresh 29-year old (with a cherubic face to match), his mindset on life has changed.

"Imagine, all the people who lived before us, who did not yet create the concept of time," my friend mused. "There was no such thing as 'running out of time'. They must have just done whatever made them happy for however long they had on earth. I've decided to live like that now. I think everyone should."

My friend leaves to Mumbai on Saturday to shoot a Bollywood film.

On Staying Young

I heard someone singing at the back of the bus this morning. I thought it was a young man with headphones on. I turned and instead saw a Chinese uncle revisiting golden oldies, no headphones. I got up and sat next to him to hear him sing. I said he had a nice voice. I found out he was 70 years old. He didn't even look 60. I told him the singing must keep him young. He laughed. "I'm in my twilight years, many of my friends are gone. I also don't have much time left. I just have to be grateful and stay happy." And then we had a chat about Engelbert Humperdinck.

On Endurance

This is Malaysian singer-songwriter Ray Cheong. He's a killer guitarist. I've seen his career grow in the few years that I've known him. In fact, he will be opening for Tommy Emmanuel  in Malaysia next month. By coincidence I found him playing at a pub last night, passionately as always. He told me that one of the most important things we need to do, as performers, is keep on going. Even if you don't produce new material, we do all we can to stay in the game to show that we mean it; we're here to represent. They were great words to hear from a friend. 

To everyone who loves what they do, Never Dim Your Light.

On Slimey Surprises

About 15 years ago, my family went to a restaurant and when the food was served, my sister noticed something squirming about on her side salad. It was a green caterpillar, happily munching away on a leaf. Dad was seething inside. He and called the waiter, pointed at the critter and calmly said, “Look at what you are serving here.” The waiter was shocked and ashamed. The manager came out to offer profuse apologies and offered compensation in the form of a cash voucher.

With the shift towards a more sustainable lifestyle, I think back and marvel at how times have changed. Had that happened to me today, I would feel complimented, a tad excited even. I would call out the manager and shake his/her hand for serving food that is fresh and organic enough to have something still thriving on it.

I found this fellow in a bag of lettuce that I bought the day before. It survived the transportation from the farm to the grocery store, a night in the grocery fridge, a night in my fridge, a rude flush of water, and the possibility of being drizzled with tahini dressing.

(I can’t affectionately refer to the slug as ‘him’ or ‘her’ because slugs are hermophradites.)

I plucked it out of my rinse bucket, thanked it for being a trooper, thanked myself for spotting it, thanked the local organic farmers that provided their great services to my community, and put it in a bush outside.

Mom was flabbergasted. I doubt she’ll ever understand how I think. But I’ll make sure that my children will if I ever become a mother myself. And that’s all that matters.

Preloved + Pawsome Sale - Launching next week!

UPDATE: The Preloved + Pawsome sale launches at 12 NOON on FRIDAY 16th AUGUST 2012. We're so excited! Get ready for it!

 
Hi Everyone!

I have a most exciting announcement to make:

I'm selling my clothes for charity!



Lately I had been opening my clothes cupboards - all THREE of them! - and entertained thoughts of selling stuff I don't wear anymore. I had never thought of doing fundraising with my clothes of any sort, until I came across amazing new site, FriendlyFashion.my, and a brilliant idea came to mind to help out Pawsome Animals.


My friends Nadzirah and Diyana run FriendlyFashion.my, an online platform for people to sell, swap, buy or even give away their pre-loved items in their wardrobe. The community site's popularity has been booming, with currently almost 45,000 fans on their Facebook page, and their bagging of the 'Online Shop of the Year' Award at the recent Digi WWWow Awards says it all.


My friends Nicole-Ann and Ashvina are the forces behind Pawsome Animals, a social enterprise that focuses on the rescuing, rehabilitation and re-homing of stray animals in the Klang Valley. It also strives to create the awareness of animal welfare in Malaysia through education.

I proposed my charity sale idea to FF and Pawsome. Both took an immediate interest in it, and I am blessed to be able to be able to collaborate with them on this project of love.

Some of these items are pre-loved... a few of them I acquired on my travels... some of them were bought or given and just never worn. But I hope that each of them will bring a renewed joy to fashionistas everywhere, and towards a great cause too!

The 'Preloved + Pawsome' sale will launch at Friendlyfashion.my in the next few days, so do look out for it!

http://www.friendlyfashion.my/

(As all proceeds from the sale are going to charity, no cancellations, refunds or swaps/exchanges will be allowed.)

More info on Pawsome Animals can be found on their Facebook page.

In the meantime, if you have any questions with regards to my items on sale, terms and conditions, etc., feel free to email me at davina@pawsomeanimals.com.

On behalf of our non-human brothers and sisters, thanks a mill for your support!

Best wishes,
Davina

On 'Me' Time

Do you make time for yourself? Those moments you set aside to celebrate your existence with the joys of solitude? It enhances the awareness and appreciation of the self, and therefore makes the moments you spend with loved ones even more awesome. So go on! Go for a walk... go to the cinema on your own... dance around your bedroom in nothing but socks and underwear. You deserve it.

On Nostalgia

I bumped into an old friend at a party last night. I know her from the social circles we used to go around 3 years ago. We were talking about those days, a little saddened that everyone has moved on since. But we agreed that if things did stay the same, then there would be nothing to look back on for us to think to ourselves, "Wow, those were good times!" I'm glad all those lives converged at that point. May we appreciate the connections we have now, and acknowledge the winds of change.

On Grass

Over the weekend went to my favourite park in the neighborhood. It's the only park I know of that buzzes with the sounds of a rainforest. I sat on the grass under my favourite tree that overlooks an uneven field. The longer I sat, the more I noticed that the grass around me and stretching out to the field was all moving. Ants, bugs, moths, spiders... So full of life! Some communities we don't even see that are just as hectic as our own. It was a humbling moment... A strange, nosey four-limbed giant pretending to be invisible amongst their business.

Everyday errands continue to unfold beyond our cubicles, cars, houses, and our very own eye level... Isn't that exciting?

How To Make: Vegan Chickpea Patty

Making food is a relatively new frontier for me - I've only been vegetarian-cooking since 2010. I'm no professional but I love the process of creating things. I find it therapeutic, and the most fun part is that the end result can be eaten! My family members, partner, and most of my friends are not vegan/vegetarians, so my aim is to make food so good that people don't even care about it being meatless. Thankfully, I've had more hits than misses!

I normally don't share my recipes, firstly because most of them are lifted directly off the internet or from a cookbook, and often just amended slightly according to my own resources. Secondly, when I create dishes by myself, I don't use measurements, which could lead to a recipe with plenty of ambiguous statements like 'a handful of' and 'a gazillion itty bitty bits of'.

But my latest kitchen experiment - Vegan Chickpea Patty - was a huge success, and the picture of the final product has garnered enough online response for me to share my recipe to the best of my ability, with original web link references.

Vegan Chickpea Patty

(Serves 6-8 people)

INGREDIENTS

2 cans of chickpeas, drained

4 tablespoons of flaxseed

1/2 tablespoon of red salt

7 stalks / half a fistful of coriander

Half a large carrot

A medium-sized red bell pepper

A large red onion

5-6 cloves of garlic

1/2 cup of instant oats

A teaspoon of cayenne pepper

2 teaspoons of cumin powder

Black pepper

Water

Olive oil

Burger buns / Wholegrain bread

3 small tomatoes

A head of romaine lettuce

Guacamole

METHOD

1. Flaxseed is an excellent substitute for egg, which is needed to keep the patty together. Flaxseed adds fibre, protein and healthy omega-3 oil to the dish. Blend the flaxseed in a blender until fine, then simmer with water on a low fire for 2-3 minutes until it thickens to a raw egg type of texture. The flaxseed:water ratio should be 1:3, but the water evaporates easily so add a little more water into the pan if you see the mixture getting too goopy. Turn off the fire and wait for the mixture to cool.

2. Blend chickpeas, flaxseed and salt together in a food processor until most of it is mushy. Set aside.

3. Chop finely the coriander, carrot, red pepper, onion and garlic. Add oil into a saucepan on low heat and toss in the carrot, followed closely by the red pepper, onion and garlic together. Stir fry for 2 minutes at the most - we don't want to fully cook these ingredients yet. Turn off heat, and mix in cumin powder, cayenne pepper and black pepper.

4. In a large bowl, mix semi-cooked ingredients and raw coriander with the chickpea mixture.

5. Mold mixture into patties. Mine were slightly bigger than the size of my palm, which was enough to make about 8 patties.

6. Coat patties with instant oats. You may press the oats in to keep them there, but keep the pressure delicate just in case the patties break.

7. Line the saucepan again with oil, and cook your patties on low heat. You may apply brief slight pressure to the patties against the pan with a spatula. Let each side cook for 2-3 minutes. Try not to flip the patties more than once.

8. Remove from heat and serve on buns or bread with sliced tomatoes, lettuce and guacamole. For once I felt a little lazy and used ready-made guacamole straight from a jar, but homemade ones taste SO much better and can be easily made with this recipe.

9. NOM NOM TIME

Note: Leftover uncooked patties can be kept in the fridge for 3-4 days. You could even eat them 'raw' if you wish!

Link references: 

Was That Vegan? - Spicy Chickpea Burgers

101 Cookbooks -Ultimate Veggie Burger Recipe

Jeena's Kitchen -Vegetarian burgers (These look amazing!)

Thanks for your interest in this recipe, and here's to the Jamie Oliver in all of us!

- Davina

On Vegetarianism

So word is officially out that I'm a vegetarian. Some friends never knew, some still don't, and some thought that I've been vegetarian for years. So for those who are curious to know the real journey, do read on.

I've always 'felt' for people, even as a kid. I only mention people because it didn't start that way with animals. My earliest memory of abusing animals was when I was in Grade 1 in Noranda Primary School in Western Australia. One of the school gardens had a wire mesh cage full of fluffy yellow chicks, and one of my pastimes, when no-one was watching, was luring chicks to eat blades of grass I would hold at the corner of the cage, and pull at their tails sticking out through the mesh. I knew it was wrong but I felt a sort of satisfaction that I exercised power over something smaller than me. Then there was the time when I was 11, when my cousins and I lined up live snails on the road outside my aunt's house, laughing til our sides hurt whenever a car passed by and made shards of snail shell whizz in all directions. I have since then taken long, drawn-out dips in the karmic pool. But I still do very vividly recall that feeling of superiority over other defenseless living things, and deriving pleasure from it.

(I think that is why I do not react so impulsively to blatant cases of animal abuse in Malaysia. I know what might be going through their heads. Like me, they just didn't know any better. Now that I do, I do get frustrated and angry, but I know that letting my emotions get out of control will not aid much in nurturing better mindsets, which is the real solution.)

Luckily, I was given the gift of a proper education. I learned how to read, and devoured books on nature. The initial thought eventually occurred: If I like animals, why am I eating them? I first entertained the thought of going vegetarian as a college freshie at 16. For the first time, I was in a canteen, in charge of picking my own food. That mock 'char siew' sure looked interesting. I also met my first Malaysian vegetarian friend, Janet Lee. I ended up eating vegetarian food as regularly as I felt I could bring myself to, even if it was just once a week. It gave me such an ego trip that I decided to try skipping meat at family dinners. My folks would have had none of it. I was told off and humiliated into putting chunks of beef or pork back onto my plate. One day at a coffee shop, my father threatened to 'flip the table upside down' if I didn't eat my pork. Reluctantly, I gave up creating conflict on the home front, and agreed to the rule of “Whenever you are out, eat anything you want. When you come home, you eat what is cooked for you.”

But year by year, with the care taken by one tiptoeing through a room full of mouse traps, I executed my strategy of removing the meats one by one. First to go was beef and lamb. Ignorantly, I gorged myself on mock meats when I worked at ASTRO that year, in 2001. I couldn't help it – their cafeteria spread was delectable and hugely assorted. C'mon, if it's meat-free then it's healthy, right? Silly Davina. I refer to it as my 'Fat Elvis' period. Unfortunately, I barely have pictures from that era to illustrate this.

Then I went back to college, and dad's intimidating presence was lessened after starting a business in Sabah. I pushed my luck with my mom, with spare ribs being comically passed from one plate to another. Mother was relentless. Most times, I would let her win.

Dad separated from the family in 2007. By then I had already been making known my support for animal rights, and almost dropped chicken completely from my diet. I still felt like I was cheating my way into being called a vegetarian – to some people, fish doesn't count as a meat – but I was thinking to myself Hey, I care so much about animals, and I'm doing so much for them already... Isn't eating seafood a fair compromise? In 2010, I moved out and taught myself how to cook vegetarian food, and only relying on fish when access to my nutrient needs outside seemed difficult.

This year, shortly after recovering from my appendectomy, I gave up my pescetarian ways and emancipated myself from a life of self-doubt. My 12 years of patience and greater awareness had finally paid off.

Even with only fish in my diet, I felt lighter and more energetic. My skin cleared up. My frequency of sickness was the most apparent, from several times a year to once in a blue moon, and my recovery rate vastly accelerated. Mind-wise, I feel more focused. I no longer need to worry about the animals that died for my sustenance, and now I can invest the energy I used for doing that into other productive thoughts and nuggets of creativity.

The reasons why I have turned vegetarian has varied over the years. I was brought up to believe that compassion was a trait of human weakness (it is, in truth, the exact opposite!), so I usually covered up that stance with health, environmental and political reasons without even fully interpreting them for myself. But over the past few years I have exposed myself to research, to videos, to undercover findings. I have educated myself to the point of no return. One of my strongest reasons, at this moment, is the ways of the factory farm. It is to me the most impractical, unethical and unsustainable part of modern living. If I was brought up in a poor rural village somewhere, tending to a traditional farm, toiling the fields, tending to the animals, and slitting goat throats with my own knife and hands for dinner, I would most likely have not felt the need to go vegetarian. Alas, I live in a society that directly supports a system of gross maximum profit, minimizing financial costs at the expense of the environment, to animal welfare, and to our own health. Factory farming is such a money magnet that anything and everything is being done to keep the proverbial wool over our eyes. And we, as consumers, are more than happy to endorse this, choosing to stay as disconnected as possible to the food that is on our plate.

This extends to the fishing industry too. Over the last year I have learned about 'bycatch' and fishing methods that destroy the ocean floor that is likened to deforestation on land... Oh My Heck. So much inefficiency. So much wasted life.

So this is the year that I have chosen to not be a part of it anymore. I represent what people fear to know and believe and acknowledge. That is why my beliefs get shot down so quickly by some non-vegetarians. Taste has always reigned over principle. Food is ingrained in our culture. We use food to fortify, to bond and socialize, to rejoice, to honor and reward. Eating meat is such a sensitive subject because EVERYBODY EATS. There is no grey area: in the most literal sense, it's a basic case of supporting the suffering and killing of animals, or just not. So if one does eat meat and is faced with the facts, the choices are also naturally clear-cut: to reflect inwards, or to defend or attack because it's more convenient. Those who do accept me for who I am now apologize or ask for permission before they eat meat in front of me. When I 'came out' with my appearance at a PETA demonstration earlier this month, little did I realize that my decision to go vegetarian also became the decision to make most people feel slightly uncomfortable around me for the rest of my life.

But it is going to allow me to learn more about the human condition. One of my ongoing pursuits in life is the pursuit of empathy. Where I come from in urban Kuala Lumpur, from a conventional Bak Kut Teh-slurping Malaysian Chinese background, I now am part of a minority of vegetarians-by-choice. I will be judged and challenged for my values. And I will strive to spread awareness to the best of my ability, as much as I will strive to be aware of thoughts and values that are different from mine. If anyone feels that they have a (yet another proverbial) bone to pick with me, I want to know about it! My only expectation is one's open, logical mind for a conducive exchange of experiences. My involvement with the PETA demonstration was not an attempt to diss or preach or instill my lifestyle onto my fellow friends. It was just a way of me saying “Hi Everyone, I'm doing this and it rocks my socks, and I am celebrating by sharing this knowledge with you just in case it might benefit you too. Don't worry it's free.”

Picture by Tati Ambia

Twelve long, emotionally turbulent years have lead me here, to one of the most exciting and significant turning points of my life. I am grateful that you are bearing witness to it. I look forward to starting this new chapter of further understanding each other, and bringing great salads to your parties.

Thank you for reading.

Lettuce be loved,

Davina

On mental nightcaps

As you retire to bed each night, it may be beneficial to think to yourself:
Did I live out today the way I wanted to?
Did I learn anything new that will make me better tomorrow, and tomorrow better?

On the Present

Do not dwell too much in the past or worry too much about the future. The most important moment for you right now, is now. Put trust in that, invest power in that, and life will follow its natural course of providing in your favor.

On Fallouts

Noone likes fallouts, but it's a natural process sometimes.

That doesn't mean we'll ever stop caring.

We each work in different ways, we each have our paths to take, and all of us deserve greatness.

Good Morning!

Isn't this amazing?

My sentiments could not be echoed more beautifully than that.
I found this message above a reception counter of Tahan Guesthouse in Taman Negara (Malaysia's National Park). Although I didn't stay there, I did Love the vibe of the place.

This is what guests see as they leave:



Good Morning To Your Awesomeness!

speaking of today, 2011

I am entering the last year of my twenties. A lot of my slightly younger friends perceive this as the last year they have before registering for geriatric wards, but age is gracious enough to prepare you for more age, if you get what I mean. It doesn't help that I'm a December kid. In Malaysia, everyone asks you for your age by the year, so it felt that I was twenty eight for all of one month, before being obliged to tell people that I was 'turning twenty nine this year'.

But I digress slightly.

Most of my friends know that I put in a birthday post as kind of a tradition. Part of me thinks how wankerly it is; another part considers it as a favor I do for myself, a checkpoint to reflect on my life, just in case I'm subconsciously slipping bribes to my synapses.

I think this year, I've been operating cleanly. Or could that be the 'donation' speaking?

Two thousand eleven was one big rush, and I have not sat down yet. Today is a day like any other. I got to work late because I got stuck at home trying to trace a misplaced phone; I slept 4 hours in distress of a damaged hard drive containing years of work and memories; tonight I am performing the preview for a brand new murder mystery called 'Klue Doh!', a Malaysian-Australian collaboration that will be staged until 17th December. As a no-downtime milestone, Klue Doh! will be the third and final theatre project I will be engaged in this year. Knowing me, there would have been a fourth if the year lasted a tad longer.

It's a huge leap from my humble 4-month recluse in Burma. In fact, I now do recall stepping fresh off the plane in February and heading straight into the first script reading of Klue Doh.

Burma was amazing. I can say without blinking that She Changed My Life. I wanted to write an epilogue of my stint there, but I could not find the right words. I haven't even shared all my pictures of Her, because it was that intimate of a relationship. Devastatingly, I might not ever will now that my hard drive is dead. But if any one of my friends have intentions of visiting, I say go. Now. Keep your your mind open to understand, your heart open to appreciate, and She will sweep you off your feet, rest your head on Her bountiful lap and need you with grapes. Or even better, the fermented liquid manifestation of it. (As a non-drinker, I confess I took a sip from a glass of cheap-as-chips local honey wine; it was humble and glorious.)

I've had many moments this year where I have had to swallow my pride, cry even, in fear that I was not able to accomplish what I had set myself up to do. Dancing next to trained dancers, conversing and singing in languages that don't come naturally to me, being treated unprofessionally, maintaining an LDR, loosening principles to save my ass in a foreign country, re-homing an animal... And still finding greatness in all of it. Making myself small has made life appear so much bigger.

"Should prosperity befall thee, rejoice not and should abasement come upon thee, grieve not, for both shall pass away and be no more."

- from The Hidden Words of Bahá'u'lláh

I started off my birthday passage last year with a Baha'i quote, which ever more represents what I have experienced this year. I've earned big jobs, I've lost big jobs. I've been sneered at, I've been cheered at. I've taken amazing pictures, I've lost an entire bank of memories. People have given birth; people have died. The cosmos has this amazing sense of balance, and I am constantly learning to honor that. A couple of weeks ago, I took a 2-day retreat to Bali. The evening before my flight home, I sat on the beach by myself, and watched the colors of the sky mingle and dim, and I remembered all this, and I took in the world, and I cried.

Sometimes it takes knowing someone else to know yourself better. I've spent the most part of the last three years on my own, constructing and de-constructing whenever, and I figured that self-accountability was something I could get used to. I have had moments where I've mistakenly assumed that my own principles ran the status quo. Thanks to friends and family, my joyrides to Doucheville have always been shortlived.

I've started hanging out with a guy. Our paths crossed in a peculiar way, but I think he's neat, he thinks I'm neat too, and together we have found a steady state of neatness. I haven't clicked so well with someone in a long time. Once I managed to translate my 'fear of commitment' to a 'fear of re-learning me', everything became so simple. Any opportunity to evolve is golden, and more so when it involves an utter stud muffin.

I have not felt so 'centred' in my life... it feels really dope. I'm itching to bloom and love and create. Growing 'old' is not a bane as much as it is the privilege of making each day as amazing as it can be, and as important as you are to yourself. Today I grieve my losses but I know I will be better. I am grateful and proud to be where, who and how I am. I am grateful for my ups, my downs, my body, my family, my dog, my work, my friends, my community, my partner, my dreams, my breath… on a day like any other.

Off to the theatre! Thank you for reading, thank you for your wishes, and may you continue to create this day.

Your fellow inventor,

Davina

The Road More Travelled

Originally written for Michelle Tan's The Love Culture (http://theloveculture.wordpress.com/). Thank you Mich for providing an avenue to share, and encouraging me to post up my piece in full.

As a full-time events manager and fuller-time performer, one of the constantly pressing issues is getting around to do work. For the past 7 years, I have been relying on public transport to get around the Klang Valley. This fact seems to trigger various strong responses from people, considering how the Malaysian public transport system is notorious for being inefficient and unreliable. For the past 7 years, an uncountable number of people have urged me to get myself a car. But no matter how many times I get myself into trouble for being tardy for rehearsals or appointments due to a late bus or train, no matter how persuasive friends can get in the perks of driving, I still end up making the choice of strolling, running, looking both ways, climbing, sweating, panting, slipping & falling... reaching my destination flustered, and apologetic if the occasion requires it.

Why? is what most ask me. Why do that to yourself? Why submit yourself to a lifestyle so impractical for the careers you have?

Because as perverse as it initially sounds, I find it worth the adventure.

Having spent the most recent couple of years learning a lot about myself than I ever have, I have begun practicing the art of voluntary simplicity. Back in 2004, I could get away with saying that I couldn't afford it, and by now I have indeed saved enough to invest in a set of wheels. But I have chosen not to... not because I am miserly. And the environmental benefits of not owning a car is just the tip of the iceberg.

Using a car offers a world of convenience; it allows for the most linear, straightforward journey from Point A to Point B. Urban culture takes pride in the concept of efficiency. Taking public transport is seen as a last resort... it consumes relatively generous amounts of time, compounded by unpredictable travel schedules.

For a very long time, I was very frustrated with this. But I then decided to not allow such conditions to be a 'waste of time' by reading books, writing, and letting myself get lost in thought - which, I realized, is actually quite a luxury for me these days.

Using my legs to get me around leaves me in awe of them. I've been taking morning runs to maintain my stamina and as I lather myself up in the shower, I feel the strength of my thighs and calves. It brings me joy that my legs are healthy and functional, and why not make the most of that? I will let them take me as far as they can until I age and one day can use them no more.

One of the most rewarding aspects of public transport is the sensory ambush. I have probably seen, heard, felt, smelled and tasted more of the city than the average car driver in KL. The the pathways, the back alleys, the street food, the sea of faces... they never cease to fascinate. I look up into the sky and observe how tree branches compete for sun, how streetlamps flicker, how clouds form. I sit in the bus and hear arguments, laughter, languages I have never heard before, conversations randomly struck between strangers. I watch a flurry of hands as deaf friends discuss a topic undoubtedly exciting. I listen intently to the life stories of cab drivers. I teach toddlers on the train how to give high fives to the amusement of their mothers. I hold the hands of blind people as they cross the street in Brickfields, I sense the gentleness of their palms and the gratitude in their voice. The smell of jasmine, exhaust fumes, incense, sweat, rain, sewage and keropok lekor waft through my hair, besiege my nostrils, and hurl my floating state of mind back into the unique Malaysian madness I choose to be present in. Eyes of passing strangers meet mine and imbue me with a sense of community.

Commuting does have its fair share of risks, but that goes for every mode of transportation. Dishonest cab service, pickpocketing and public sexual harassment do exist, as do road accidents, aggressive motorists, and carjacks. It's just a matter of staying alert in our mode of travel and handling ourselves in the most ideal way with the decisions we have made.

There have been moments I have found myself less than appreciative of my country's flawed public transport system, but never for too long. A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling exhausted after a long humid day of work and extensive commuting around the city. I was making my way to my last appointment of the evening in Bukit Bintang, when I happened to pass by a group of street percussionists. Their pounding rhythms compelled me to stay a couple of minutes. One of the drummers spotted me bouncing in the crowd, and pulled me into the centre of their circle. Turned out they were performing their last song. To the cheers of the spectators, I put down my bags and unleashed my inner monkey. I met my friend sticky but revitalized. He asked, "What happened to you?" I laughed, and forgave myself for ever feeling ungrateful.

General consensus is that public transport in Malaysia is impractical and a waste of time. But with a new adventure that awaits the moment I step out of my house, with the subtle whims of Kuala Lumpur I have witnessed and become a part of, and the deep breaths I must take whenever people ask me how my day was, perhaps being impractical and wasting time isn't too much of a bad thing.

Female Shih-tzu mix (3 yrs) for adoption

Hello Everyone,

My older sister is giving up one of her 3 dogs for adoption.

Unfortunately, the previous owner 'disappeared' from correspondence before my sister was able to get details of her medical history.

JLo is estimated to be 3 yrs old, and we don’t know if she has been spayed or vaccinated before. She appears to be a mixed breed Shih Tzu, beige in color. She is a little on the lean side, but is otherwise healthy.

She’s not exactly the brightest bulb in the box, which has been a huge obstacle in my sister’s attempts to train her, including simple commands and toilet training. She’s terrified of the sound of rain and will hide anywhere to get away from it. She is a generally quiet dog, but is attentive and will occasionally bark if alarmed.

The one thing I can guarantee that she is good at is Love. She greets you in the morning and approaches people without hesitation the moment her name is called.

I am looking for a compassionate, responsible owner who will have the time and patience to look after her. My sister intends to surrender JLo to SPCA but I believe the pooch deserves another chance.

If you are interested or know anyone who might be, please email me at da_vina@graffiti.net, or drop me a line via my Twitter handle: @duuuhvina.

Please spread the word!

Sincere thanks and warmest wishes,

Davina

On Love

Last weekend, my older sister got married to her partner of ten years.

The night before, I had received news that a man I met in Scotland last year had passed away suddenly, leaving behind his partner of eleven years.

I was going to just write about how these two incidents have affected me, then along came the deaths in Norway, China, and of Amy Winehouse.

I shall continue to share what I had been meaning to share, but now with a concession that emotional fragility is now being shared between many around the world.

I feel like I have been living out one really long day since arriving back in Kuala Lumpur on Thursday night. I have barely been sleeping, partially because a part of me is still in another timezone, partially due to the anxiety and frustration of a freshly reconsidered relationship, amongst other things I can’t really put my finger on. I have surprised myself with this, knowing that everything that I do is my own doing… I have the power to put my own self at ease, yet I have decided not to. Perhaps it is because I know that these days, I don’t give myself time to give in to my humanness. So for the past few days, my excuse has been jetlag. Pretty crazy to see how much you can get away with when you tell people that. Today onwards, I get back into my busy mode. And I’m expected to pull my head out of my arse and get going again.

Saturday was a great day, obviously. My sister Melanie was all nervous and giggly. I’ve never seen her like that, well not in a long time at least. She grew up very fast, being the oldest in the family. She’s had a reputation for being a headstrong woman, occasionally excessively so. But she revealed a rarely seen side to her that was deservedly advertised. I remember the day I introduced her to my mentor at work – a popular announcer on Malaysian radio whom I had known as Johnboy. It was at an extreme sports event. At the end of the day, Johnboy sent me a text confessing that he thought Mel was cute, or hot, or some other generic pop term used to describe attractiveness. Despite the unconventional difference in age, he easily convinced my family that he was a keeper. Mel and John grew to be the sort of couple that you just knew would last through the ages, with or without marriage.

Claire and Frankie had been together for eleven years, definitely had the same vibe going. So finding a message from Claire on Friday night, informing me of Frankie’s sudden demise a few weeks ago, left me shocked and extraordinarily sad. I went to Frankie’s Facebook page, and saw the flood of wall posts from friends and family… dedications, video posts of his performances, news of a tribute gig, and most notably, Claire’s messages of love and longing. I cried uncontrollably.

Strangely enough, I had only met Frankie and Claire once, when my then-partner Stuart and I visited Scotland last year. Stuart’s friend Kyle heard of my coming to London, and invited us both to stay with him in his humble hometown of Dundee. It was quite a culture shock, a teetotaler being taken on day-long pub crawls, trying to interact with people who spoke an English I could barely understand. Kyle’s uncle Frankie turned up with Claire on a pub quiz night and after the game invited a bunch of us to their nearby apartment for some lounging and random jamming. Their place was small and inviting, filled with an amber glow. We brought up food and drinks and ate, laughed, sang, and I’m certain at some point I fell asleep but without offending anyone’s company. Frankie and Claire’s warmth and hospitality were one of my great memories of Dundee.

Knowing about the paths of two similarly long-term relationships going through two completely contrasting journeys is what has been shaking me up. To be frank, I was initially unfazed by news of my sister’s engagement. Now, I am terribly grateful for them. Fueling this appreciation is an incredible new fear, a fear of this neverknowing of where destiny will lead each set of lovers to, irregardless of the benefits of time or strength of a relationship.

I have yet to experience a long-term relationship with someone, or at least one that has been physically tangible. And I marvel at the courage and determination two individuals have when they decide to go the distance together. I am inspired by randomness but now realizing its magnitude, and how serious a business it can be, is making me feel more vulnerable than I’ve ever been.

My events managing work recently led to the staging of The Sound Of Music in Kuala Lumpur. I managed to catch some parts of it, including the scene where Maria, frightened of her growing feelings towards Captain Von Trapp, confides in Mother Abbess. Mother Abbess tells Maria that God has given her the capacity to love, but whether that love is manifested in living a pious life, or falling for someone, is Maria’s own prerogative that she must acknowledge. Or something like that. I’m crap at paraphrasing. But whatever I got from that scene, I took it to heart: this aptitude approach to love and our implementation of that.

As a young girl I used to believe, like many young girls, I would find the man of my life by the time I hit my late teens, then stay with him for several years, then get married at an age young enough to keep up with the life and times of our brood. I can’t imagine how different my life would be if that really happened! Pregnancy is an experience I would embrace if it happens, but my idea of motherhood has now, more than anything, evolved more into the idea of the passing on of human responsibility. I yearn to nurture tiny people, from my own womb or otherwise, and learn things from them too. I want them to celebrate compassion with me, and use it to change the world.

But in the meantime, I will give my love to the best of my capability, to people, creatures, places and things that nourish me and keep me whole.

Mourning is born from Love. May the rest of us live on ever stronger in faith, purpose, righteous energy, and as warriors of Love.

Yours in arms,

Davina

PS Dear Claire, if you are reading this, I never got round to telling you that Stuart and I absolutely loved your singing that night… Stu said you had a Joni Mitchell kind of quality! I am thankful that you shared your talent with us, and I do hope that you will carry on creating greatness with your voice and guitar. I think it is something you will always owe to yourself. Hang in there and stay amazing.

On Unity

Unity has nothing to do with race, age or religion. Unity happens with the collective realization that we are all made of badassery.